Part-time dentist and P.I Malcolm Grammar investigates the murder of giant killer Mack Slashdot, but not even Malcolm and his composed and clinical nature can be prepared for a journey into the vast nation of Gargantua, where a competition in latin dance brings him into the giant arms of Sophie. Can Malcolm uncover Mack's killer, unravel Sophie's past and return by May 15th for his root canal appointment with the Beast With 1,000 Teeth?
* Natalie Gassbag (Sophie)
* Alan Jefferies (Malcolm)
Director Schmageggie was paid 1,000,000 kopecks by the government of Gargantua Upper, a vast nation actually populated by giants. However simmering tensions with their neighbours Gargantuan Lower shorty afterward came to a head, plunging both nations into a long and bloody war. Many blame Schmageggie for this, as he also in turn invested in Gargantua Upper's military infrastructure to finance his and long-time collaborator Piccolo Paruzzio's chain of coffee houses, the 'Boiled Bean' company.
Sophie: Malcolm, the rhythm of my people flows through this dance. It starts in the hips, snakes it's way hotly into the limbs, and then down into our powerful, tanned thighs.
Malcolm: That's all well and good Sophie, but you keep treading on my feet.
Sophie: That's not me treading on them Malcolm. That's my people treading on them.
Many critics were outraged that Schmageggie should profit from an oppressed people. Kevin Negleberg was famously quoted saying to Schmageggie, "The worst kind of human slug gains from the misery of millions of dispossessed people," to which Schmageggie laughed, shook his exposed testicles and drank another coffee.