Expect Bloodshed (2001)

Summary
Cracks Spikowski hunts missing persons - with maximum bloodshed. He doesn't just find his quarry, he obliterates the county his quarry is in. But when his quarry is the long dead Thomas Edison can he match wits with the laws of Improbability?

Director
Rico Schmageggie

Producer
Piccolo Paruzzio

Cast

 * Francois Burgerschwarz (Cracks Spikowski)
 * Alphonse Ducreux (Thomas Edison)

Top Trivia

 * Piccolo Paruzzio returned to collaborate on this film again with Schmageggie, causing many in the film industry to ask... why?
 * Francois Burgerschwarz had to have his big toes grafted to his hands after losing both his thumbs in a helicopter machine gun mishap. He famously quipped as he watched two fountains of blood cascading from his bloody stumps, 'Keep filming, this'll look great on the trailers!'

Notable Quotes
Cracks: My long search is over. I've found you Thomas Edison, I've found you.

Thomas Edison: I never said I was lost, musclehead. Now can you relax your grip so I can breathe?

Cracks: If I didn't relax it for Estelle Getty, I'm certainly not going to relax it for you.

Critical Reception
Britney Westerbrooks of the Chicago Triumph wrote, "This film is exactly what a summer blockbuster should be; painful to watch, loud and has no frame of reference to reality."