Gluten-Free (1982)

Summary
Rum walks into a bar and drinks itself. After this, everything goes fancy, like in Gosford Park. People hang from girders, while spouting yellow powder from their hair. A man make a conscious effort to smile, but finds himself DJing. Actress Michelle Forbes walks into the room and beats a rug into submission, but is then chastised by the UN Security Council.

Director
Carson Welk

Cast

 * Max Preece (A man)
 * Martin O' Scrambler (Sense of pity)
 * Ricky Sunbeam (Synapse #3)
 * Nova Frohlander (Michelle Forbes)
 * James Melfitt (Personification of film)

Top Trivia
The director and cast of Why Me, Asparagus? (1977) reunited for this 1982 film, made after Carson Welk's five year trek through the Psilocybin Mushroom Forest of British Guiana.

Notable Quotes
Sense of pity: Rogue submarines have stopped traffic for six consecutive days in a place where mothers sometimes meet and compare growth charts.

Synapse #3: A diskette spins three ways at once, which is impossible.

Sense of pity: Shopping has become very difficult. People are trying to replace it with burger meat.

A man: A dark shadow has taken my jazz CDs.

Believing they are naked, all three go to Lwow for a day.

Critical Reception
"Time's strict mooring falters. Falters. Pacific voices channel endless reticulation inward; screams Oscar." - Harton Walsh, Common Sense Week