Land Of Compromise (1980)

Summary
A poor Moldovan peasant, Madavlan Kopi, embarks upon his dream of migrating to America to start a chain of Moldovan fried blackworm outlets. Unfortunately, Madavlan finds that blackworms aren't quite as easy to come by in his new country, forcing him to compromise both the traditions of his homeland's cuisine and the health of his patrons by pilfering parasitic nematodes from the local hospital. Hilarity ensues.

Director
Pauley Garbanzo

Cast

 * Arthur Jones (Madavlan Kopi)
 * Billy Chang (Lee the kitchenhand)
 * Kate Schegg (Dr Mildred Friels)
 * Grant Cocher (Patient zero)

Top Trivia
Pauley Garbanzo attempted to use this film to convince the film world to take him seriously and finally start calling him "Paul". Despite his use of enormous and colourful font highlighting the name "Paul" on all credits used in the film, Pauley's attempts were in vain as the name "Pauley" was displayed in gigantic neon text outside the film's premiere at Marco's Italian Theatre and Pizza Restaurant. Pauley was ultimately acquitted of all charges relating to the violence that ensued.

Notable Quotes
Lee: (in wheelchair being pushed by Madavlan) Ooh oow, my lower gall bladder!

Dr Friels: This is the fourth time this week you've been in here with an internal organ complaint. If we keep cutting you open you'll be more stitches than man.

Madavlan: Can he have his usual bed by the parasitology ward please?

Dr Friels: Why, if I didn't like your blackworm nuggets so much I'd report you Madavlan Kopi!

Critical Reception
"The only positive thing I can say about this film is that it may have helped solved America's obesity problem through the ubiquitous nausea and loss of appetite that accompanies it in cinemas across the country" - Jane Margout, Cookery Monthly